The loving boy and murderous terrorist

The cousin of Shehzad Tanweer describes her pain and disbelief on learning that he was the Aldgate bomber.

Monday July 18, 2005
The Guardian

Eleven days ago I watched in horror and disbelief as, one by one, we heard of the four tragic explosions. I feared for the lives of friends and relatives in London.
The following Monday morning, I was boarding a London bus in defiance, just like thousands of other commuters across the city. On Tuesday, I heard something beyond imagination. Something that would test my community and shatter my family. One of the bombers was my cousin.

I had seen him days before the tragic event, but I hadn't seen what was coming. Shehzad Tanweer is remembered by his family and friends as a gentle, loving boy who always had a smile on his face. By those who lost loved ones in the 7/7 attacks in London, he is remembered as a murderous terrorist.
This has come as a terrible blow to the family. Not only do they grieve the loss of their son, but they will have to face the atrocities his name has been linked to.
Shehzad's parents taught him that violence didn't solve anything, and that violence is not accepted in Islam. My parents would always remind me about the meaning of the word Islam - peace.
I often heard Shehzad's mother reminding all my cousins about the meaning of the word when they got into arguments with one another, as young siblings do. But Shehzad grew into a calm and peaceful young man. Nothing could anger him. I cannot recall the last time I heard him even raise his voice.
I don't know why Shehzad did what he did. I've had many a journalist attempt to put suggestions my way. Was it because of the Iraq war? Was it the treatment of prisoners at Guantánamo Bay or the Palestine-Israel conflict?
I don't know.
I never discussed those issues with him. I'm sure he would have felt very strongly about all those things, just as most Muslims in Britain do. I certainly do. I believe the Iraq war was not justified. I believe the treatment of alleged war criminals at Guantánamo Bay is a gross misconduct of human rights that every citizen on this planet should be ashamed of. And of course, there should be a fair two-state resolution in the Middle East.
My beliefs are strong but I do not believe they are justification enough to kill innocent people. Whatever the reasons for Shehzad's actions, he took them with him. Nobody will ever have the answer, not even his family.
I have been disturbed by how the bombings have been reported in some parts of the media. I have watched how words have been twisted, strewn and bent into whole other shapes by parts of the media.
I was present at a meeting between Shehzad's uncle, Bashir Ahmad, and a reporter from the News of the World. I heard every word spoken be tween them. Three days later I read a conversation that did not take place.
The entire British public, including the families of the bombers, showed their unity in the two-minute silence that marked the one week anniversary of the terrible 7/7 bombings. Those who lost loved ones don't want to see any more lives taken by murderous fanatics.
And relatives of the bombers don't want to see any more of their children being used as the tools of somebody else's evil ideology.
Together, we are looking within ourselves, and our communities, desperately searching for ways to prevent this ever happening again.
The Sun branded George Galloway a "traitor" for questioning the role of the Iraq war in motivating Thursday's attacks. In doing so, they sent a perilous message to every disillusioned Muslim in this country. They made it clear dialogue is not an acceptable way to vent our anger at the treatment of Muslims across the world.
If you silence those who have grievances to air, what tools do you leave them with?
My heartfelt apologies go out to all those who lost someone in the attacks. If there was anything I could have done to prevent this, I would have done it. I know that goes for all my family. We didn't want to lose our Shehzad, we believe he was taken from us.
I have no doubt in my mind that Shehzad was merely a tool of somebody else's evil ideology. I am certain somebody got to him, and duped him. I will not rest until that person or group is caught and brought to justice.

· The writer's name has been withheld at her request